Choosing to surrender…

Anxiety and fear had been a thief, literally stealing my joy. It jumbled up my thoughts, and caused my heart to race, leaving me with many sleepless nights and a just below the surface agitation that made me want to crawl out of my skin and run away.

The last two years have been life altering and I am learning what it means to release my need to control and to put my complete trust in God. There are good days and difficult ones, but I choose to take things, one step at a time, as I receive His peace.

Peace I leave with you, my Peace I give you. Not as the world gives. Don’t let your hearts be troubled and don’t be afraid.

John 14.27.

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

Free yourself…

Free yourself

from excessive

perfectionism,

it’s an inhibited

attempt to

find your identity

within the borders

of others standards.

Free yourself

~denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…shame

She uncovered the secrets that haunted her in the middle of the night,

those undisclosed images that had been safely tucked away in the remote

areas of her mind, are no longer

given permission to run rampant

through her thoughts.

Courageously, she stood up

and faced those lies,

that had comfortably laid itself

dormant around the very core of her being.

She stripped herself of the heaviness,

that attempted to overshadow

every good thing.

And bravely, no longer allowed fear

to define her worth.

~denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…depression

It laid itself dormant amongst the

barriers of her heart,

the longing, in a hungry pursuit

of this illusion for happiness.

the place where she wrapped

herself in temporary moments

by filling each need with the status quo ego.

this perfect appearance

portrayed itself amongst the

imperfect deception.

but then,

in the most inconspicuous places

she found her Joy,

and as she engrossed herself,

she found this treasure

to be a gift,

and promised to never let it go.

In your presence is fullness of Joy- Psalm 16:11

~ denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

Why…I’m No longer held captive.

No longer held captive comes from the concept of freeing yourself from any and everything that no longer honors you. And many…many times…that includes self sabotage 🙋🏽‍♀️. No longer believing the lies that I believed about myself.

The lies that I coveted, that if I held onto these things long enough, that I would receive an award for the “woman of the year” for the one who could who hold onto the damaging affects of the abuse that happened to her as a child or hold onto the shame of relationship betrayal and the gut wrenching pain of rebuilding a rocky marriage.

The 30lb weight gain that makes me miserable because of a chronic illness diagnosis & medication. The previous years of yo-yo dieting and portraying the face of “perfection” in spite of hiding an eating disorder from the world. Almost four years ago, hitting rock bottom and going to a recovery program and facing the fact that I truly am “powerless” over the things that are out of my control…learning what it really means to, walk by faith.

Walking away from a career at the University and at almost 50 years old, having to re-create myself.

Facing the anxiety, depression & ptsd and finally accepting the advice of my therapist who encourages me to get off the merry go round and really start to deal with the layers of pain that I have suppressed behind the mask of “I’m ok”.

The learning how to find joy in Be-ing instead of selling my soul to always doing. The upholding of healthy boundaries and learning to say NO to people who try to suck me dry of all my creative juices.

It’s learning to rest when fatigue takes over and choosing not to fall into the guilt factor abyss. And….when guilt tries to show it’s ugly head, letting it know, that your no longer welcomed here.

This my friend, is the evolving journey of being “No longer held captive”.💗

~denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…the need for validation

An overwhelming

need for

validation

will cloud

your ability

to clearly see

your worth.

It’s ok to

value your

truth.

~ denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by the darkness…

Uproot

and replace

the negative words

that play out

over and

over again

in your mind.

It’s ok to chose peace.

~ denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…my own limitations

Every part of my BE-ing

screams out from

under the mask

of my own insecurities.

Fear tries to woo itself

oh so closely

to the inner complexity

of my identity.

This inward battle of

who I am vs who I’m not

continues to churn.

Keep evolving.

~denise marie

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36