Tag: self expression

No longer held captive by the scars of your past.

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Every 
attempt 
to conceal
scars
is damaging 
to your soul.
Unleash them
from the 
preconceived 
emotions 
that keep you
bound to 
their power.
Allow your 
true self 
to be seen,
for your 
freedom cry 
is anxiously
waiting for
your arrival.

~Denise 
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…discontent

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Why must we

wander around,

looking to fill

the emptiness

with things

outside of ourself?

Attempting to drown out

the pain by trading

inanimate items

for animate

disappointments.

Yearning

for that

next fix,

which will

never truly

fill the

void.

~Denise

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by chaos…

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Fast talking,

heart pumping

overthinking

everything.

This nervous energy

was driven by

an attempt

to hide behind

the inability

to trust,

even my

own instincts.

Trauma

groomed me

into believing

that I was nothing

outside of what

I did for others.

Unknowingly,

it kept

me bound,

to things out of

my control.

I’ve learned,

to walk away

from the chaos,

and to step

into my

true authentic self.

For there is where,

I am happy,

and for there is where,

I am free.

~Denise

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

No longer held captive by…secrets.

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Words that are silenced, are lethal secrets to destroy your soul. Speak your truth.  – Denise

I am a Survivor, and a daily Overcomer to the pain I hid for 40 years. I found my voice and I am never turning back…I am No Longer Held Captive By My Childhood Secrets.

Speaking from a place of authenticity can be gut wrenching! But I keep writing and as I write it brings me healing. To write unapologetically & without shame brings me freedom.

I was sexually abused off and on by several people both male and female approximately between the ages of 4-12 years old and while I was on a date at age 14, I was raped in my high school parking lot.

As a teenager, I struggled with low self-esteem, and after I was raped, I developed an eating disorder, called bulimia. I used diet pills, laxatives and restricted my eating in order to try to control those things that I couldn’t control in my life. At school I was an overachieving people pleasing perfectionist, but away from school I was promiscuous and occasionally used alcohol and drugs to numb my pain. The sexual abuse caused me to live with a tremendous amount of guilt and shame.

I hid those terrible secrets for close to 40 years, and on April 5, 2012, my declared “Day of Emancipation”, I shared my childhood sexual abuse and rape story publicly on Ravens Closet Talk Show.

The many years of stuffing the unresolved childhood trauma took a toll on my physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health. It completely affected my life, including the ability to create healthy boundaries in the relationship with my husband.

Words like depression, anxiety, PTSD & chronic illness were common discussions with my Doctors. Currently, I am working through the healing process, layer by layer…one moment at a time with God and through Celebrate Recovery, a 12-step Christian Recovery Program.

Healing is a process, so be gentle with yourself, I’ve learned that isolating is NOT an option and reaching out for help is imperative. Always remember, you are not alone.

What the enemy tried to use to destroy me, God is using to give others hope. With God ALL things are possible…which includes walking through the journey of healing from the pain of childhood trauma & the pain of relationship betrayal. Today, step by step, my life and marriage are being restored.

~ Denise
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

No longer held captive by…the need for validation

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Having a false

sense of security

in the opinion

of others,

is an intentional attempt

to try to live our life

pleasing the created

instead of the creator.

yearning for acceptance

that only comes from

His place of peace.

the constant battles

that play out in

our own thoughts,

limits our ability

to clearly distinguish

between sanity and insanity.

the self-contained

ego-driven

willingness

to remain

in distress

limits our gift

of freedom.

I am learning, it’s not a get “fixed quick” healing process, I have to be willing to do the hard work necessary in order to renew my mind. Which includes, limiting the opinions of others and the access of them speaking into my life from a place of their “own” needs being met. Honoring my space and upholding healthy boundaries is imperative.

~ Denise

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36

The Daily Choice To Be Free

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Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat, An overwhelming and demanding presence from an unseen force.

When pondering on the definition of Fear I had a moment of self expression, that I would like to share with you:

Pushing through the very boundaries in which were precisely placed,

Are the very walls in which bring resentment.

Rarely spoken of are the countless hours spent contemplating a new way of fulfilling those Desires.

The mind is racing, The heart is pumping, the thought of birthing the very idea which have been cradled for so long, is reaching to the point of Explosion.

Rather than embracing the freedom at what she truly Loves.She chooses to grasp the Fear of Succeeding.

Everyone of us has a Dream, a Desire,  a Passion, a Calling. We know it exists, if we listen, it seems to call our name. It is our amazing ability to touch the lives of others and have complete satisfaction in doing so. The more I recognize all I’ve lived through, the more I see the need to share my story with others. This realization informs me that I am more than capable of facing whatever life may bring. I recognize the truth of the past occurences and have accepted these occurences. No longer making excuses for them, no longer hiding them, no longer making them my current reality. These secrets no longer hover around my soul planting deeper roots of insecurity. I’ve learned to grasp onto the truth, pull the root from it’s core and have replanted fresh soil.  I want to encourage you, or shall I say, challenge you, to push “Yourself” out of the way in order to unleash your full potential.

The following is a Beautfiul picture of my baby sister just after she landed on the ground from her 1st Sky Diving experience. The look of Overcoming Fear is impeccable! Enjoy!

Denise Boyd Copyright ©