Tag: Poetry
No longer held captive by…isolation
I lost a close friend this week.
My heart hurts as I battled with thoughts of “why didn’t I call her on Friday”, “why wasn’t I there to check on her when she needed me?”
Then in a quiet voice, God quickly reminded me that HE was there.
In an instant I began to celebrate all of our deep conversations about God and how much she loved him, our laughing at the silliest of things until we cried hysterically. The dinners, the kids parties, our funny dance moves, the cries on each other’s shoulders and the bear hugs that reminded each other that no matter what, everything was gonna be alright.
This loss, is devastating on so many levels especially for her sweet children, spouse, family and close friends.
But in the midst of these tears, more than ever I want to encourage you to reach out for help if you need it, your not alone and isolation is a breeding ground for lies, deception and defeat.
Reach out and tell someone…
anyone…that you need help.
I guarantee you, that you are not forgotten, and there is hope.💗
~ Denise xoxo
No longer held captive…by depression
They call her Joy.
she tries to hide in darkness…
but when you find her…
in the most inconspicuous places…
introduce yourself…
treasure her…
and never let her go.
xoxo Denise
The Joy of the Lord is my strength. -Nehemiah 8:10
No longer held captive…by rejection
You are my masterpiece
Created in my perfect image
There is none like you
I made sure of that
Uniquely crafted
Genuinely created for greatness
You are wanted
Never rejected
Loved beyond measure.
His love endures forever – Psalm 118:2
xoxo Denise
No longer held captive…by anxiety
Every broken heart
cries out to this earth for its healing…
You won’t find it
in your unending need
for approval…
those aren’t the places that I intended for you to seek truth…
look to me my daughter
there you will find your worth.
Hear my whisper?
Draw near to me…
like a firefly to its flame.
bring me your alabaster box..
and break its chains that surround you.
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. ~ John 8:36
No longer held captive…secrets
being held captive
entangles truth
restricts freedom
and causes heartache
to follow you
uncover the darkness
shine light on every lie
of the enemy
that is keeping you bound
release yourself from its grip
and run free
So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. – John 8:36
No turning back…
What do I see in the depths of her heart?
but a child so pure, innocent and set apart…
apart from the filth and innocence robbed…
apart from the trusting hands that cradled her soul…
took her aside and stole what was not theirs…
apart from lies and deep secrets untold…
childhood nightmares…
try to continue to unfold…
give her air…
so she can breathe…
open the window and set her…
Free.
Being 9 years old, I did not understand the sick logic of an old man and his ungodly desire to violate children. Why would the same person who brought so much joy to a family, bring pain? He was a lion in sheep’s clothing, and the least likely to ever be accused of such a crime. The burden he placed upon us to “keep a secret”, was the ultimate breach of trust against generations of children.
To be set free from the pain of my past, everyday I have to believe that I have a choice…
A choice to listen to the lies or the truth
To see myself as healed or broken
To live with shame or to live unashamed
To speak or to silence my voice.
You see, to declare that I’m no longer held captive by my childhood secrets, requires a daily willingness to change how I view myself and a determination to never be bound to that pain again.
~ Denise
Who the Son sets free is free indeed. John 8:36
Quiet the voice of deceit…
de·ceit \ the act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid
I think I am angry…
No, I know I am angry…
and I am really angry at you.
It happened over and over again, and you sat there and did nothing…
I know you didn’t want to betray me…
but you did…
I blamed you…..
I accused you….
and I despised you….
and most of all…
I hated you for not protecting me…
The innocence that was stripped from the loins of this little girl, brought years of heartache, shame and self hate.
This taunting voice of deception…
came in order to remind me of my past.
This direct battle between good and evil….
truth and lies…
hope and despair....
was an attempt to try to destroy me…
and keep me bound to pain.
Today, I bravely look at every jagged edge that was piercing the most sacred areas of my heart…
I boldly speak truth to those broken places…
I see worth…value…and the unending love,
that He so gracefully pours over me…covering me…protecting me.
Piece by piece, I am made whole.
~Denise
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” – John 8:32
In my darkest hour…I found hope.
I was attacked at the very core of my being and was told to end it.
That I was not going to live past the depression, the anxiety and the tremendous amount of pain. The lies, and self hatred tried to overshadow every ounce of hope and faith I previously held onto.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley…
Fragmented pieces of the memories came flashing back as I tried to piece them together and make sense of the realization that these were not nightmares but factual suppressed recollections.
I will fear no evil…for you are with me…
It was too much! I felt as if I was literally being ripped from the inside out. Every part of my body ached as I exposed the truth and walked through the dark murkiness of my past.
You protect and guide me, and I find comfort as you console me…
In my despair, I wept as I released the pain of that little girl.
You are repairing all the damage that was done to me, and restoring the deepest, most real part of me.
My strength Lord, comes from you. ~ xoxo Denise
*Psalm 23
There are times in all of our lives that things become overwhelming, sometimes to the point that life seems to be crashing in from every angle of your life, which for me caused me to literally find myself in a dark place and needing help.
I wanted to isolate but instead I called for help.
I want to encourage you, to seek help.
If you find yourself in a position that you need to talk to someone, reach out for help.
You are not alone, you are not overreacting and please don’t feel as if you are bothering them.
Pick up your phone… and call someone.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
“TO LURK”..EXIST UNPERCEIVED OR UNSUSPECTED…
This poem is in tribute to the little girl, in me, who at 9 years old, unexpectedly became the victim to the abuse of a family friend.
In the early morning hours, just prior to dawn.
you silently stepped into the bedroom
and viewed your next victim.
Your excitement grew,
as you placed one of your hands,
upon her flat, pre-adolescent chest,
and moved the other hand beneath the covers.
As you attempted to reach her innocence,
she flinched… and fear overtook her as she see’s you hovering over her.
STOP! She yelled.
You glared at her disgustingly,
and quickly left the room.
She was the lamb to the slaughter,
the doe to the hunter.
The ultimate sacrifice to the appetite of,
this dirty old man.
Denise Boyd Copyright ©
My Journey Home….to God & Self 