Tag: God
From the first touch…
Self expression through writing has been a hobby & passion of mine since I was a little girl. In this picture, I was approximately 5 years old and was writing a poem. The following self expression explains why I am sitting there with a blank stare filled with so much sadness.
From the first touch, my life was forever changed. I could no longer see through the innocent sparkled filled eyes of a little girl, but rather the a darkened, blank stare that narrowly dilated my carefree view of this world. This false interpretation of safety and love from a man, quickly devoured my heart with lies of how my life was to be.
The depths of the overwhelming sadness that overcame me, could never be explained in order for you to understand how deep that violation not only hurt me, but changed me. All because of…that first touch.
The “first” touch led to many incidents of being molested by several people through the age of 12 and then raped at the age of 14. I held this secret until I was 40 years old. By finally sharing my story, it is helping me heal from the pain of the abuse.
Words That Are Silenced Are Lethal Secrets To Destroy You Soul, Speak Your Truth.
In April, I turn 50 years old, a half century! I want to encourage others that they too can be “no longer held captive by childhood secrets”. By safely sharing your secret with a trusted friend, family member, teacher, therapist or writing it out anonymously, this powerful act of courage, is the first step to being free from shame.
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Its time to find, your worth…
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by the darkness…
Uproot
and replace
the negative words
that play out
over and
over again
in your mind.
It’s ok to chose peace.
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by…my own limitations
Every part of my BE-ing
screams out from
under the mask
of my own insecurities.
Fear tries to woo itself
oh so closely
to the inner complexity
of my identity.
This inward battle of
who I am vs who I’m not
continues to churn.
Keep evolving.
~denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by the scars of your past.
Every
attempt
to conceal
scars
is damaging
to your soul.
Unleash them
from the
preconceived
emotions
that keep you
bound to
their power.
Allow your
true self
to be seen,
for your
freedom cry
is anxiously
waiting for
your arrival.
~Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by chaos…
Fast talking,
heart pumping
overthinking
everything.
This nervous energy
was driven by
an attempt
to hide behind
the inability
to trust,
even my
own instincts.
Trauma
groomed me
into believing
that I was nothing
outside of what
I did for others.
Unknowingly,
it kept
me bound,
to things out of
my control.
I’ve learned,
to walk away
from the chaos,
and to step
into my
true authentic self.
For there is where,
I am happy,
and for there is where,
I am free.
~Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by…secrets.
Words that are silenced, are lethal secrets to destroy your soul. Speak your truth. – Denise
I am a Survivor, and a daily Overcomer to the pain I hid for 40 years. I found my voice and I am never turning back…I am No Longer Held Captive By My Childhood Secrets.
Speaking from a place of authenticity can be gut wrenching! But I keep writing and as I write it brings me healing. To write unapologetically & without shame brings me freedom.
I was sexually abused off and on by several people both male and female approximately between the ages of 4-12 years old and while I was on a date at age 14, I was raped in my high school parking lot.
As a teenager, I struggled with low self-esteem, and after I was raped, I developed an eating disorder, called bulimia. I used diet pills, laxatives and restricted my eating in order to try to control those things that I couldn’t control in my life. At school I was an overachieving people pleasing perfectionist, but away from school I was promiscuous and occasionally used alcohol and drugs to numb my pain. The sexual abuse caused me to live with a tremendous amount of guilt and shame.
I hid those terrible secrets for close to 40 years, and on April 5, 2012, my declared “Day of Emancipation”, I shared my childhood sexual abuse and rape story publicly on Ravens Closet Talk Show.
The many years of stuffing the unresolved childhood trauma took a toll on my physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health. It completely affected my life, including the ability to create healthy boundaries in the relationship with my husband.
Words like depression, anxiety, PTSD & chronic illness were common discussions with my Doctors. Currently, I am working through the healing process, layer by layer…one moment at a time with God and through Celebrate Recovery, a 12-step Christian Recovery Program.
Healing is a process, so be gentle with yourself, I’ve learned that isolating is NOT an option and reaching out for help is imperative. Always remember, you are not alone.
What the enemy tried to use to destroy me, God is using to give others hope. With God ALL things are possible…which includes walking through the journey of healing from the pain of childhood trauma & the pain of relationship betrayal. Today, step by step, my life and marriage are being restored.
~ Denise
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
No longer held captive by…fear
She is called my beloved.
intentionally…
strategically…
unapologetically…
fighting for her freedom.
through the self-defeating,
misrepresentation of an
unwelcomed
unannounced visitor,
who goes by the name of…
“the former self-doubting version” of herself.
she sits quietly
crouched between
“who I used to be”…
and
“who I am now”…
as she anticipates the arrival of,
“who I’m becoming”.
she is called my beloved.
endlessly…
evolving…
and transforming
from the lies that lay
dormant between the confines
of her own mind,
and other’s restrictive insecurities.
she is called my beloved.
courageously crafting her next move,
determined to win this battle gracefully…
she is called my beloved.
step by step,
she painfully
pulls back each layer,
and exposes
the truth…
unmasked.
she is called my beloved.
her new identity,
outweighs the former entanglement of despair.
she is called my beloved.
branded with the heart of a lion…
she fearlessly arises.
She is called my Beloved,
and I am she.
xoxo – Denise
Words that are silenced, are lethal secrets to destroy your soul. Speak your truth.💗
No longer held captive by…isolation
