Tag: Daily Life
Unbecoming…
When writing this piece about simply “unbecoming”. I kept hearing the words, “you have to unbecome to become”. For me that means, ditching the old ways of viewing myself through the unhealthy lenses that are holding me back from my true potential and learning how to embrace my quirky ways by no longer apologizing for simply being ok with me.
~Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by…uncertainty
From here
to there
is such a small feat,
when we release
our need to control
every aspect of
the journey.
Moving confidently
in our own rhythm,
frees the constraints,
and releases
the reigns
on where our feet,
are waiting to take us.
Bravely…
in our own,
unique way,
just show up.
~Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by chaos…
Fast talking,
heart pumping
overthinking
everything.
This nervous energy
was driven by
an attempt
to hide behind
the inability
to trust,
even my
own instincts.
Trauma
groomed me
into believing
that I was nothing
outside of what
I did for others.
Unknowingly,
it kept
me bound,
to things out of
my control.
I’ve learned,
to walk away
from the chaos,
and to step
into my
true authentic self.
For there is where,
I am happy,
and for there is where,
I am free.
~Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by…secrets.
Words that are silenced, are lethal secrets to destroy your soul. Speak your truth. – Denise
I am a Survivor, and a daily Overcomer to the pain I hid for 40 years. I found my voice and I am never turning back…I am No Longer Held Captive By My Childhood Secrets.
Speaking from a place of authenticity can be gut wrenching! But I keep writing and as I write it brings me healing. To write unapologetically & without shame brings me freedom.
I was sexually abused off and on by several people both male and female approximately between the ages of 4-12 years old and while I was on a date at age 14, I was raped in my high school parking lot.
As a teenager, I struggled with low self-esteem, and after I was raped, I developed an eating disorder, called bulimia. I used diet pills, laxatives and restricted my eating in order to try to control those things that I couldn’t control in my life. At school I was an overachieving people pleasing perfectionist, but away from school I was promiscuous and occasionally used alcohol and drugs to numb my pain. The sexual abuse caused me to live with a tremendous amount of guilt and shame.
I hid those terrible secrets for close to 40 years, and on April 5, 2012, my declared “Day of Emancipation”, I shared my childhood sexual abuse and rape story publicly on Ravens Closet Talk Show.
The many years of stuffing the unresolved childhood trauma took a toll on my physical, mental, emotional & spiritual health. It completely affected my life, including the ability to create healthy boundaries in the relationship with my husband.
Words like depression, anxiety, PTSD & chronic illness were common discussions with my Doctors. Currently, I am working through the healing process, layer by layer…one moment at a time with God and through Celebrate Recovery, a 12-step Christian Recovery Program.
Healing is a process, so be gentle with yourself, I’ve learned that isolating is NOT an option and reaching out for help is imperative. Always remember, you are not alone.
What the enemy tried to use to destroy me, God is using to give others hope. With God ALL things are possible…which includes walking through the journey of healing from the pain of childhood trauma & the pain of relationship betrayal. Today, step by step, my life and marriage are being restored.
~ Denise
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
No longer held captive by…avoidance
Not a simple crack…
Under the layers of
an ice-like heart
in the deep…deep foundation
there was a simple crack.
overlooked
Ignored
compressed
the layers
continued to form
until one day
under the pressure
of it’s own weight
the simple crack
expanded
and became a glacier.
and when the hardness
leaked into every area
of her life,
she then realized
it could no longer
be ignored.
~ Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive by…the need for validation
Having a false
sense of security
in the opinion
of others,
is an intentional attempt
to try to live our life
pleasing the created
instead of the creator.
yearning for acceptance
that only comes from
His place of peace.
the constant battles
that play out in
our own thoughts,
limits our ability
to clearly distinguish
between sanity and insanity.
the self-contained
ego-driven
willingness
to remain
in distress
limits our gift
of freedom.
I am learning, it’s not a get “fixed quick” healing process, I have to be willing to do the hard work necessary in order to renew my mind. Which includes, limiting the opinions of others and the access of them speaking into my life from a place of their “own” needs being met. Honoring my space and upholding healthy boundaries is imperative.
~ Denise
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive…by yesteryear
Stripped…
from the constraints of
the accomplishments
from yesteryear
no longer holding onto
who or what
I used to be.
Stripped…
from the constant pull
of others
who would like
me to remain
in their self-serving
box of limitations.
Stripped…
from the
false fulfillment
of
value
identity
and
worth
from
a place
outside
of myself.
Stripped…
~Denise💗
No longer held captive by…fear
My Journey Home….to God & Self 